Are you carrying around shoulds which consist of rules you believe that you and others must live by? You make these rules for yourself and then you try to follow them as if they were laws, and when you can’t or don’t, you feel as if you are a bad or inferior person. You punish yourself with condemnation.
Here are a few of the shoulds that constantly plague people:
- I should be the perfect lover, spouse, friend, parent, teacher, or student.
- I should not make mistakes.
- I should look attractive.
- I should keep my emotions “under control” and not feel anger, jealousy, or depression.
- I should not complain.
- I should not depend on others, but take care of them.
You probably have some of your own favorite shoulds you could add to this list . Unfortunately, your shoulds not only prevent you from having an accurate perception of yourself, but of others as well. You think that people you know should behave according to your list of rules, and if they do not, they are willfully disobedient, uncaring, lazy, sloppy, stupid, or lacking in compassion and love. Living with this invisible list of burdens is unnecessarily debilitating.
What does this type of thinking lead to? STRESS
Fortunately, there are ways to change your thinking and both hypnosis and life coaching can diminish these ways of thinking and restore you to a level of confidence and behavior change. If you think I can help, please feel free to call me at 361.442.9590 or email me at holtadams2002@yahoo.com