Following up with the final steps to handling conflict:
5. After he/she is done talking, don’t respond for 3 to 5 seconds. This lets him/her know that you have not been provoked. And by taking this pause, you are able to respond with poise.
6. Ask him/her to repeat themselves. Say something like “could you please repeat everything you’ve just said? It sounds like you were saying something important but I got distracted and missed it. Even better could you say it back to me slowly so that I can write it down?” This calm and measured approach will throw your antagonist off his/her game. If they insult you by saying that you were not paying attention, agree with them. “You know I might have not been paying attention, but it did seem important so if there is something that you want me to know, please repeat it slowly so that I can write it down.” Now watch him/her get uncomfortable as you have not responded in the way he/she wanted you to or expects you to do. You’ve slowed him/her down and they may not know what to do or they may get frustrated as you didn’t take the bait.
7. End the encounter. If he/she can’t repeat themselves, end the encounter with “it did seem important so if you ever want to run it by me, please call me.” If they get more aggressive, pause and look down for a few seconds. Then lift your head and look them in the eye again and calmly say, “Now, you’ve made it even more difficult for me to focus on what you are saying. Let’s stop here and if it is important, you can contact me at a later time.”
If you have found these steps helpful, please let me know at holtadams2002@yahoo.com or call at 361.442.9590. Thank you.