Another Hidden Marriage Killer

In a continuation of the above post on situations that can lead to a possible divorce (Weiner-Davis, 2020), many partners believe that it must be necessary for both individuals to be on the same page about every topic. A timely example would be politics where partners might feel that they need to keep secret their choice of political candidate as the other might not agree and that could lead to harsh arguments.

It is not realistic to expect two people to be in agreement on everything, and when couples treat total agreement as a goal, they tend to see their inevitable disagreements as a serious problem, that they are not really right for each other. These issues are made worse when one partner insists that the other must fall into line and agree. This happens when one partner feels that the marriage has begun to fall apart when they have different opinions.

If you find yourself in this situation, it is best to remain open to the possibility that two people can have very different opinions without either of them being wrong. One of the things you can do is to listen to your partner and try to understand and accept their opinion and treat it with respect even when you disagree. Maybe it’s a sign of an option to explore this topic in terms of learning something about your partner and not as a sign of incompatibility.

As of this post, my office remains closed due to the pandemic but I am available by phone or email.