Do you avoid people with whom you fear a conflict? Doing this will not avoid a conflict and will, in fact, make the situation worse.
According to Mark Goldston, MD, there are better ways to handle conflict. First you need to determine who you avoid and what those people do that make you want to avoid them.
1, Identify the people you want to engage with and those you don’t. Take a piece of paper and divide it into two columns. On the left side list the people you avoid and on the right side list all the people you look forward to seeing and / or talking to.
2. Thank all the people in the right column. Tell them what they mean to you and why. You should do this in person or by video chat which is more personal.
3. Identify what the people in the left column have in common. Maybe they frustrate you or provoke you by whining, blaming others, or making excuses for their own shortcomings. Conversations with these people often turn into arguments. These conflicts trigger anger in you and pushes you to fight, freeze, or flight mode and away from being able to think. Just thinking about these people can cause you to start catastrophizing. So how can you beat these people at their own game?
There are 7 steps to handling conflict which I will discuss in the next post. If you are finding yourself in continual conflict, there are solutions that can be addressed in hypnosis and coaching. Please feel free to give me a call at 361.442.9590 or contact me at holtadams2002@yahoo.com.