Have you heard the expression, ” Never try to teach a cow to sing. It doesn’t work and it only annoys the cow?” Why are we surprised and disappointed when people in our lives act like they always have? We want them to sing and not moo. It only irritates them and disappoints us. We know what to expect yet we become irritated when the same behavior happens over and over.
If you want to find peace in your life and relationships, every time you tell yourself ‘I just wish that…I just can’t believe that…or Why can’t he/she do this rather than that?’, do yourself a favor and start believing what is and stop wishing for what isn’t. People can change and they do it all the time when change becomes important to them and you should never accept behaviors that violate your own personal values. People are package deals. They are in your life for a reason so there must be some redeeming qualities about them. We do have a choice about focusing on their exasperating qualities and trying to turn moos into songs or we can shine a light on their endearing qualities instead.
You do have a choice of accepting those good qualities that drew you toward that individual to start with. It’s called the art of acceptance that allows you to not try to make a friend or loved one sing when they moo. That way you are not surprised or disappointed when they don’t.
Ask yourself whether you spend too much time trying to change things that are unchangeable rather than paying more attention to what is good in your life and the people around you.
If it’s challenging to find workarounds for behaviors that bother you, stop making up negative stories about why people behave the way they do. These are just stories and only add fuel to the already everlasting fire.
Instead, consider the simple lesson I have learned over the years-people do the best they can with the tools they have. When they know better, they do better. And that goes for all of us!
If you are experiencing negativity in your life and find it hard to accept others behaviors, I can help. Please feel free to contact me at 361-442-9590 or holtadams2002@yahoo.com